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Lebanon, Oregon, United States
We are Terry & Cathye Kinkelaar. If you've followed my blog in the past, you know that Lydia, my beautiful wife of 52 years, and I made the lifestyle choice to move to Oregon in 2017. You've seen my posts about losing her in May 2020 to cancer. Although I was left alone, I am pleased to say that I have found happiness again. In April 2021, I met Cathye, who also lost her longtime husband in 2020. Well, we fell in love and were married in April 2022. So, if folks are still interested, I will continue to post here as we move forward with our lives and adventures!

Monday, March 9, 2020

Oregon Living 2020 – Blog #19 – Last of the Family Leaves & News We Didn't Want


 

Thursday, Mar 5th, 2020……  Ed and Tia said their goodbyes and headed out about 8:40am for their drive back home to Wausau WI. It was a busy week but Lydia was so glad to see everyone!  She says thanks to all!!!
After they drove out, I left by myself to go see Lydia. We had a few things to do today. But first up, the nurses had come in to take out her feeding tube! What a relief!  She said that it was very uncomfortable with that thing in. Ya think! She is now on a 5-day trial of a regular oral diet to see if she can sustain food by mouth.  If not, she will get the more permanent peg (stomach inserted) feeding tube.
One of our goals today was for me to get some Credit Union banking details from her. These are the ones that she handles monthly. The other was to sit down and work on our advance directives. She’s never done one before. I did one and it was filed in California. Turns out that directive is good in 42 states and Oregon is not one of them. I think it has to do with Oregon being a right-to-die state. Anyway, we worked on that and got it done. Just need witness signatures tomorrow.
Next up is a meeting with oncology doctors. They will be talking to us about future chemo. That’s going to be a significant and pivotal meeting. Fingers crossed!  
   
Friday, Mar 6th, 2020…… I got up and showered and got ready. Lydia thought we had a 10:00am meeting time but was not sure. No one on the nursing staff could tell us. They made calls to try to find out.  Anyway, I headed over early in case they did early rounds.

Today we got our next round of news. Not so good. The oncology doctor confirmed that she cannot take the same level of chemo as round one.  While that is not good news, he did say that there is another type of treatment that she might be able to tolerate but she needs to be much stronger than she is now for that to happen. It can’t be put off too long because the cancer is very aggressive. That’s the bad news. Next phase is to get her well enough in the next week or two to get moved to a skilled nursing facility (aka snf) for rehab to help get her ambulatory again. From the snf, she will be going to and from dialysis. The goal is to be strong enough to go home and then back and forth from home to dialysis and then later for whatever chemo they can try. It’s a tightrope and we are plenty scared! Lydia understands and we are both dealing with it and have accepted whatever comes from here. She has had some times of weakness and, at times. wanted to give up, but with everyone here for her, she became a fighter once more and is determined to go another round!  
    
Saturday, Mar 7th, 2020…… Today was a really good day. She is eating good and finishing her meals. They want her eating several light snacks/meals rather than 1 or 2 big meals which will upset her stomach. She says everything tastes like cardboard but they are finding foods that have some taste that she likes. Yesterday, she ate an entire taco salad!  A really good positive spirited day!  

Sunday, Mar 8th, 2020……  We heard from Maryanne and Cherrelyn that they have travel arrangements made and will be coming up this week. Lydia is looking forward to seeing both of them.  Sis and I spent a few hours with Lydia a couple of times today. They do her dialysis Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, so she is in her room and relaxed on the weekends and ready for visitors. She has complained about her nails which haven’t been cut, only painted when the family was here.  Penny cut and used the dremel on them this morning because she was having trouble texting. I think she is happy now that she can go back to Facebook and read emails and such. She is taking calls but sometimes she will turn the phone off or on vibrate when she needs to rest – so don’t get discouraged – just call back another time.

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